Mitch,
“Everything I do, I do it for you…” Lyrics from the Bryan Adams song are even more meaningful now than ever before. I am living this in a whole new way since your cancer diagnosis.
Every sleepless night, I do for you.
I do this so I am sure I am there if you need me. Your pain and sleepless nights have affected me as well. I have a hard time falling asleep because all my worries for you come flooding in like a freight train. I try to put the brake on them and insert positivity but most nights I don’t succeed. Part of this is because we are at the lowest, hardest part of this journey (I hope, anyway.) The only way this could be worse is losing you.
Every load of laundry I do, I do for you. Every load of dishes I do, I do for you. Every day cleaning, I do for you. I want to make sure there are no germs that are going to make you sicker. I would not be able to forgive myself if I could have prevented this and hadn’t.
Every time we hold hands, embrace, or kiss, I do it for you.
I want you to feel the enduring love I have for you. I want you to know that no matter how you look, you are the most handsome man to me–even more so because I know how hard you are fighting.
Every step I walk, I do for you. There are times when I can tell you are losing the will to fight. I am here to pick up your fight until you have the strength to take it up again.
Every tear I shed, I do for you.
This has been one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do in my life. I do it without regrets because you are my true love. I knew way back when I was in seventh grade that you were the man I would marry.
Everything I do, good or bad, I do for you!
With all my love –
Nicole
PS This letter was written prior to Mitch’s passing.
