Lexi’s Ultrasound

April 14, 2024


Yesterday (May 15, 2022), Lexi and I went to Minot to celebrate her birthday a day early and for her 3D ultra sound. It took about forty-five minutes because they do a lot of measuring and check all they can in order to “catch” anything problematic.

The moment the ultrasound session started,

I had this intense feeling of your presence. I could feel you standing behind me with your hand on my shoulder. I could see the pure joy on your face, your eyes shining with your tremendous awe and love for the baby to come. My left shoulder and side of my neck was really bothering me but after you touched it, the pain slowly subsided until I couldn’t feel it anymore.

Remember when Ethan and Lexi told us of the pregnancy?

They told us by putting a hot dog bun in the oven with the positive pregnancy test. Lexi being a FACS teacher made this feel just the “right “way of telling us. There was excitement, of course, with this announcement with acute sadness underlying, just below the surface. Later that night, after Ethan and Lexi left, I stated “See, you have something else to live toward.” You looked at me with such sadness in your eyes and solemnly told me, “Hon, I just don’t think it’s going to happen.” That was hard to hear. It dashed the last hope I had for you living a longer life.

When we were told of the baby,

I just knew it would be a boy, and it is. I think that your soul is going to go to this baby. My hope is that since you are no longer here on earth, you can intercede better to make sure all goes well with the baby’s development and birth. That both Lexi and the grandbaby will be healthy and thriving during and after pregnancy and delivery. Especially now that Lexi found out the umbilical cord is attached to the side and not the center of the placenta. This can cause complications such as premature labor, excess hemorrhaging for baby and mom at time of birth, the need for a c-section, baby not getting enough nutrients… We will learn more once Lexi is able to discuss this with her midwife next week.

So, now I have a question for you, hon.

This situation often happens with multiples. Many of us had the feeling she was carrying twins when they first told us she was pregnant. However, Lexi has only one baby in her womb. Did she initially have twins and one miscarried in the first couple weeks? Are you holding the twin in your arms right now? When I ask this question, I feel a “Yes” from you, and a sense that was one of the reasons you had to go. Am I crazy? And yet my whole being states it is true. In my mind’s eye I can see you holding an infant in your arms, even while fishing.

I’ll love you for the rest of my life!


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