The Simple Things

May 26, 2024

Dear Mitch,

It is easy to believe

that the holidays and anniversaries—the big things—bring grief on stronger. Some holidays and anniversaries have been particularly difficult for me, but I’m discovering that it’s the everyday, simpler things that intensify my grief.

I was sick recently with the stomach flu. Normally, I would have relied on your assistance during this period. You would have brought home things for me to try to drink or eat; you would have checked on me and decided when I should see the doctor. When I’m sick, I don’t want to leave the house, so having someone bring soup or whatever it is I need is comforting. Fortunately, I was able to ask a friend and my sister. The simple things.

Another scenario

was that it snowed pretty heavily, and my car was full of snow. Before I went down the road, a gentleman took it into his own hands to brush the snow and clear any ice off my windows. This is something you would have done for me. Such a simple thing turns into a huge ambush of grief.

In the winter, the cold air always messes with tire pressure. You always made sure my tires were at the appropriate pressure so I wouldn’t become stranded. You made sure I always had a full tank of gas. You didn’t need to be asked; it just happened. The simple things.

You would have fixed the leaking upstairs toilet without being asked, probably because you would have heard it before I did. Haha The simple things.

Preparing and eating a meal was a time when you and I would share our day, concerns, and laughter. Now, it just reminds me of how alone I am. I don’t care what I eat, and I don’t feel like preparing anything for just one. The simple things.

I miss kissing you goodnight,

hugging and kissing you good morning, hearing the words “I love you,” and feeling your presence by my side. Even if we were sitting quietly with one another, it felt special because we could count on one another to always be there. We enjoyed taking spontaneous car rides with Leo seated between us. The simple things.

I miss every aspect of you,

even the ones that I would roll my eyes at, because we built a beautiful relationship that many people cannot say they have with their significant other. As I live my life without you, I realize this more and more.

The simple things – I love you,


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